A precious new baby has entered your life. The new baby needs constant care to ensure its survival. But you have needs too. And only one of you has an income stream. That's why our new Manstroller™ line is singularly focused on stroller products that look cool, have "good action," and fulfill a modern dad's needs. And probably your baby's needs!

We developed the Desert Eagle Xtreme© from the ground up, designed by cool dads with engineering degrees who listen to Wu-Tang and ride Ducatis. Because they understand the truth about new dads: You're the one who has to pay for the stroller. Strollers are expensive as holy hell. So let's drop some steeze on this bitch and ensure dad's comfort. And probably your baby's comfort!

Everyone knows the primary responsibility of a stroller is to keep the baby safe. At Bugaboo Labs, we maintain laser focus on this task. It's the single most important thing we work on, besides laser-focus systems for Halliburton. And unmanned drone aircraft for Blackwater. We've got to keep the baby safe. How can we keep the baby safe. How about padding. We'll put in some padding.

Right before we were going to put in some padding, our engineers made a breakthrough discovery. Babies are already padded! That cute chubby layer. Babies basically come standard with extra cushioning. So we decided we could eliminate all padding and seat cushions from the Manstroller™. This makes for a lighter frame, reduces drag, and totally makes it look like one of those old badass Landrover Defenders.

Today's strollers have an array of straps and buckles for "restraining the child". More like restraining our buzz. Those straps and buckles are good for nothing except getting tangled in the wires of our XBOX controllers. That's right. Every Manstroller™ is available with an Assassin's Creed™ XBOX Option Package. It comes with two controllers, a wireless headset, and a limited-edition console spotwelded to the back of the frame. It looks tight.

Most strollers today come with big protective sunshades to protect the baby from the sun's rays. But they look super lame. Even UFC fighter Rampage Jackson looks like a lesbian pushing a sunshade stroller around. Do babies really need sun protection? We say the jury is out. Because eliminating the sunshade was the only way to mount the Yakima roof-rack, which can mount a mountain bike, a set of golf clubs, and two soft tacos or three crispy tacos.

At Bugaboo, we believe your baby deserves the best. But can your baby actually tell what's the best? Or even what's good? It's just a tiny baby. It'll go with the flow. We know this because we did an experiment at Bugaboo Labs. We gave a baby an iPod Touch to play with. We gave a second baby a piece of filthy string to play with. Guess what? They were both totally happy! So we've mounted an iPod Touch to the handlebars of every Desert Eagle Xtreme©!

Thank you for your purchase! At Bugaboo, we understand how hard it is for new dads like you to grab your sack and maintain your manhood while raising a family. That's why, with the Manstroller™ Desert Eagle Xtreme©, we've decided to grab your sack for you. And your baby's sack, too.*